A New Home

The Second Discourseman

4^th September, 2022

Today I visited a new church, and decided that I would call it home. I hinted this to some of the people I spoke to, but not in such personal terms. After all, to claim a place as home is presumptuous in the extreme. It is to demand that those who dwell there love me as a member of their family; me, whom they have only just met and know nothing about.

But I wish I had said as much, and I am happy to write it for the record here. I am like a young man who has fallen in love with a woman and, too awkward to tell her, rushes home to scribble his affections in his diary. And as an onlooker might ask this man what right he has to seek her love in return, so you might ask: how can I walk into this happy crowd of people, put my feet up by the fireplace, and call them my family?

Perhaps I should ask, inspired by the words of the carol: “What can I bring this church, poor as I am?” If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb – but I have meagre offerings by way of hospitality; a cluttered room in a house-share and a couple of mugs. Enough to give, but nothing impressive. If I were a wise man, I would do my part – and by some definitions I may be intelligent, but I do not think knowledge of differential equations will be of much value. I certainly did not feel wise today. My tongue has a habit of going a-wander in my mouth when I am speaking to new people, and the words never quite come out in the order I mean them to.

The answer must be the same as when the question is asked of the Lord Jesus: “What can I give him, poor as I am? What I can I give him – give him my heart.” I have heard these lines criticised as containing an inkling of salvation by works, but I do not think that fair. “‘Even now,’ declares the LORD, ‘return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.’” ^[1] At first sight God desires two contradictory responses: to return with a whole heart, and with a broken heart. But they do not contradict each other. God looks for a love which knows that it must first be loved. The heart can only come to God as two pieces, wrenched apart by sin and hurting for a love which will make it whole. 

First and foremost, then, let us daily fly to Calvary with this love which desperately needs love, as that is where we will find it – in Christ. But I think that this should characterise our love more generally, with a recognition that we are not self-sufficient and instead need love in return. It is not a transaction, because to love is not primarily a cost but a blessing; we are asking others to partake in divine joy by loving us. 

And so I can talk about love regarding this group of people who were strangers until today. It is provoked by their kind welcome and their godly sincerity, but it is founded upon my own need. I am nearly alone in this new place, and I know that I need family, and that I have no earthly right to find it here. Here are people upon whom I have a divine claim – they are my Father’s children. While I still feel this need deeply, before it is assuaged by mundane distractions, I must act upon it. I have seen that this local church is made lovely in robes washed with the blood of the Lamb. I have come in, baptised in the same fountain, full of need. Now let me love my new family with my whole, restored heart.

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[1] Joel chapter 2 verses 12-13